December 2020 – I Am Writing

One of my favorite things to do at year’s end is to look over the titles I lovingly devoured over the course of the year. Each January, I set up my challenge in GoodReads, based on my previous record and set a goal for the new year. It is my preferred social media platform where I interact with virtually no one but myself, scanning reviews, honing my list purely for my own pleasure. This year, I recently hit my goal of 80 and while not all of them are home runs, I’ve developed a good sense for picking winners based on a combination of referrals, recommendations, browsing and internet algorithms. My favorites, in no particular order, and not necessarily published in 2020, follow.

Untamed, by Glennon Doyle. OK, this was far and above my favorite read in 2020 and I inhaled it cover to cover in the space of two days, grudgingly putting it down to feed my son lunch and dinner in the early days of quarantine. It was galvanizing, awakening and full of useful information and I earmarked the pages on how to explain sex to your children. I am still trying to get up the courage to use the words I wished I could have come up with on my own. This was a book I purchased for my sisters and step-daughter. They were words I wanted every woman I knew to read.

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This morning as I was driving my son to school, along empty roads that used to be bustling with the morning rush of the workforce and yellow school buses, there was a burning desire in me to turn back the clocks to a year ago when things were “normal”.

He had been doing viritual school for two weeks and I think we were both a little cranky for it. Had he even left the house over these past several days? Had he worn anything but pajama bottoms and a t-shirt emblazoned with his school logo because his face was all that would show up on the Zoom grid beside his classmates? I felt so sad for him and all that is being missed this year. The activities and friendships. The gradual gaining of autonomy that comes with getting older – the new responsiblities and freedom. Yet here we are anchored together more than ever.

It is only in the car that I see the full faces of other people, closed in their own little bubble of safety where the virus cannot break the barrier. Our routines have changed. When we leave the house it is to work or grocery shop or do some other small errand that cannot be done via the internet, and always behind a mask. How often do you forget your mask these days? It is part of the routine.

I live life most fully inside our house, wandering freely from room to room able to take in long, deep breaths as I go. There are the things I have always done like laundry and cooking and ironing but it is now also my gym and entertainment and social life too. Movies on a small screen, books on a Kindle. Girl’s nights on a browser and virtual clinking glasses.

In those brief moments in the car, driving by other maskless people, it is almost as if we were back to normal. We could meet up at the corner Starbucks and catch up over coffee. We could shake hands or hug or just simply smile.

Month: December 2020

A Roundup of Books, 2020 Edition

Craving Normal