I tend to get suspicious when life is going along just fine. After a while I get used to it and then when an issue comes up, I’m unprepared and knocked back just a little bit. Oh, right, life isn’t supposed to always be easy, I remind myself! This is an important life lesson that I keep trying to instill in my son Liam who is elven. He seems to be coming home with different issues from school these days and I try to give him my best advice to help him along.
Sometimes it has to do with academics – a poor test grade or missed assignment. He will get very upset when he doesn’t do well on a test even if his grade is in the low 90’s. I do not want him to put so much emphasis on one grade or one assignment. I simply tell him to learn from these situations and just to always do his best. We can never be doing everything perfectly.
Other times its tricky interactions with his classmates. Yesterday he was upset that someone made a rule about a game they were playing and then when it didn’t work for that person anymore, they wanted to change the rule again. I try to help him see it’s not a big deal. So sometimes we change our minds. Is it something this person does all the time or was it a onetime thing? I ask him to list a few different ways to react if it happens again.
In my own life, I don’t like being presented with challenges either. Whether it be in the form of a differing point of view with my spouse or a situation at work that doesn’t go the way I want. I have to remind myself as well that this is life. It can sometimes be hard and messy but there are going to be near perfect days too. On Friday I was feeling pretty euphoric after a workout, a good writing session and some time to myself. These are the times that build me up to be ready for challenging days.
I’ve also found the harder I rail against someone or something, the worse I feel about it and it goes much better for me when I let go of control. I don’t have to make everyone believe the same thing I do and I have to keep an open mind because maybe I’m not seeing a thing as it actually is. Liam seemed to be arguing with the same friend a lot and I asked what would happen if he chose not to participate. He said the fight would probably stop. Correct.